Some of you know that my very good friend of 20 years was visiting me the past two weeks. I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 years and it was amazing. From the moment we saw each other it was as if no time had passed at all. It was a great feeling to know that the person sitting next to me has watched me grow up, been there through some of the most trying times of my life and will always be there to hold my hand when I need a friend. We laughed about old times and dreamed of the future; swapped stories of times gone by all the while laughing at our childish mistakes and teenage antics.
What’s interesting about my friendship with her is that is has not been a rose garden. We have argued and fought like an old married couple for as long as we have known each other. But, it just goes to prove that every relationship, no matter it’s premise- romantic, business or friendship – it needs TLC and requires effort. Someone once told me that you don’t have to agree with all of your friends’ decisions and beliefs in order to respect them. I know this to be true. I also know that it’s these kinds of differences that design the blueprints for a lasting and understanding relationship.
All too often, we focus on the differences we find within one another and use them as a reason to find fault. If we make an effort to understand each other and find beauty in those differences we can learn to appreciate them. They only serve to help us better understand ourselves and become better people. Like I said, my relationship with my friend is not perfect but, we both know without a doubt there is unconditional support. It was a joy to have her here and a sorrowful goodbye. It gives me a warm feeling to know that years from now the time we spent during these two weeks will be fodder for stories told by two little old ladies over coffee.
I love you, girlfriend……
Beth =)
I want to put this on a refrigerator magnet so I can read it every day~! Words to live by, thank you~!
A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. It is not about whom you have known the longest. It’s about who came and never leave your side. Friendship doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be true. There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Here is to you Bethany. As always, your diary is very meaningful and poignant. ~Frank
I have to say that Bethany continues to amaze me.Not with her intelligence: she shattered the tired stereotype that a beautiful girl is a dumb girl with her first e-mail to me last July.Not with her eloquence: the tired old styereotype that young ladies in her line of work can’t put words into sentences was equally obliterated with her
first e-mail to me.But with her insightfulness.Her empathy. Her truthfulness. These are skills that don’t come from the brain:they come from the heart.Her tribute to the many facets of a true and lasting friendship is one of the most moving I have ever had the great pleasure of coming across.Not since the first two thirds of Peter
Jackson’s “Rings” trilogy have I so related to someone encapsullating and crystallizing all that a friendship is.
And her timing could not have been more perfect.As I’ve stated here before, I lost my big brother and best friend Johnny two years ago.Beth has done far more than anyone else to help me through this.Indeed,she has saved me from doing away with myself at least twice because I felt I couldn’t face life without my friend of over
50 years.And what I mean by her timing is this: recently, I’ve ‘attempted’ to discuss with my therapist all the
guilt I feel for the stupid arguments Johnny & I had over the years.Rather than bore everybody with my therapist’s psycho-babble…and,trust me,it is boring…it all boils down to “Not much can be done about that now.” That helps – NOT! But what Beth said,that since their friendship started,she and her friend have argued like an old married couple did help.Because she helped me to realize that those arguments, and how you fix
them;laugh about them years later,etc.are simply an integral part of a true and lasting friendship.Because,
deep down,you & your friend know,it’s just a dumb argument:it’ll pass. But what won’t is that fierce loyalty;that
sense that,even when you disagree,you ALWAYS back each other up against the rest of the world.And, I guess
what I’m trying to say,albeit awkwardly – Hey, I’m old.What can you expect? – is that Bethany’s newest diary
entry did for me what my therapist should’ve,but didn’t. And I wanted to thank her for that.I’m sure that being
a psychologist is socially acceptable everywhere.Beth’s job is,in some circles,scorned. Yet,who is the better
person? Who is the more caring individual? I think we all know the answer.Here’s hoping that Beth and her
friend stay buddies decades longer than even Johnny and I were! Thank you,Beth! Rick
Wise words pretty woman!! A loving relationship ( without respect to the flavor) is not predicated on perfection its basis is understanding. Analogous traits need little effort as they flow naturally. Understanding is what binds us conjointly, variations and singularities define us individually, while negotiating these character traits is key to a successful relationship. Respecting boundaries and contrasts within this realm is crucial to long term success. Understanding, accepting and respecting another as a whole provides a sound foundation for a rich long term relationship. I myself have relationships quite similar to this, although few seem as close as yours. In addition many times the differences people bring to your life can be very enriching, if one chooses to open their mind to the possibilities, thereby fortifying the relationship as a result. Good friends can touch you and leave a lasting imprint of themselves on you, not only enhancing the relationship, but providing individual growth….and dare I say great happiness and pleasure.
To understand is to love.
To understand is to have compassion.
To truly understand is to identify and share: sorrow, joy,loss, suffering and triumph.
This is understanding………………this is love.
Mav